Turtle Reviews

Howdy folks. Turtle here with some more Grim Reviews. This time we're looking at “Mortal Dilemma”. Grim has an existential crisis. How does this translate to an episode? Let's find out. Title card from the Grim Adventures Wiki We open at breakfast at Billy's house. Billy is downing sugary breakfast cereal while Grim is just having his morning coffee. Hope you like diabetes, Billy. Grim notices his face on the milk carton. “Hey! I'm not missing. I'm being held hostage by children.” Sorry. They can't fit “Held hostage by children” onto a milk carton, Grim. One of Grim's buddies from the underworld pops in, urging him to come back to his job. Grim says that he can't and explains the situation brought on by the pilot episode. The demon laughs hysterically at the news. What did you expect Grim? Death got owned by children. While walking Billy to the bus stop, Grim misses his old life. Billy a...

Hey folks. Turtle here with another FOP review. Today, Timmy switched places with a dog for the perks. But all is not what it seems. Let's dive into “Dog's Day Afternoon”. Title card from the Fairly Oddparents Wiki Our story begins with Timmy's mom and dad leaving for a night out. It appears that Vicky is praising Timmy. Did we wind up in some bizarre parallel dimension? It turns out it's her dog Doidle she's praising. Timmy complains about Doidle being over again. “ She sure does love that dog more than she loves you.” “ She loves everything more than Timmy.” Including hemorrhoids, the year 2016, and the Star Wars Christmas Special. Vicky makes Timmy do stuff for the dog. Doidle is also given a steak for dinner while Timmy has to much on the plastic tray of a TV dinner. With those teeth, he should be able to break through it pretty easily. Timmy complains about being second banana to a dog. ...

Hey folks. Turtle here with another FOP review. Today is the introduction of Superhero Jay Leno the Crimson Chin. Can the Chin overcome an existential crisis and save the day? Let's find out in “Chin Up”. Title card from Fairly Oddparents Wiki Our story begins at the Comic, Fantasy, and Reality Avoidance Expo. Five seconds in and we're shitting on nerds. Timmy is in line to enter and wants to get his comic book signed by the Crimson Chin. Ummm does he know that the Crimson Chin isn't real? Chester and AJ are also there for the costume contest. Remember that. Inside, Timmy (figuratively) wishes Cosmo and Wanda could be there, and they apparently are. Timmy tries to hide them, but Wanda assures him that people will think they're just kids in costumes since it's a comic book convention. That doesn't explain how you can fly, Wanda. Also there's kid dressed as a tree. Probably just a random cosplay...

Howdy folks. Turtle here again with another Grim review. This time Grim wants to be a swimsuit model. How will that turn out? Let's find out in “Look Alive”. Title card from the Grim Adventures wiki We open on Grim reading a newspaper. He is dissatisfied with the lack of obituaries that day, as no one has died recently, at least locally. After a brief interaction with a dog, Grim runs into Billy and Mandy, who have just gone fishing. Billy has captured a stick, who he names Derrick. Grim feels left out, to which Mandy suggests that Grim get a part-time job. Grim states that he'd always wanted to be a swimsuit model. Grim goes to a modeling agency, only to be rejected for being “too dead.” Grim doesn't understand why he was turned away. Billy and Mandy inform him that he's too scary to model. Grim is insistent on this career path, so Mandy forces a make-over onto him. Armed with a red wig, pool ball eyes, and a stocking full of meat products, Grim goes ba...

Hey folks. It's Turtle again with some more Fairly Oddparents. This time we're meeting Denzel Crocker, and man is he off his rocker. Will Timmy be able to keep his FAIRY GOD PARENTS?!?! Let's find out in “Transparents”. Title card from the Fairly Oddparents Wiki Our story begins with show-and-tell. “ Well Mr. Crocker, for show and tell I brung my dog, Mange.” Wasn't that Buttercup's superhero name from when the Powerpuff Girls went solo for an episode? Also Mange eats first graders, which are all kept in a giant glass jar. How are those kids not dead from the lack of air? Timmy speaks with Cosmo and Wanda, who are disguised as pencils about his show and tell project. Oh now they can shapeshift into other things. Where was that ability last episode? Francis receives a “D” and Timmy comes up to the front. Timmy opens a lunchbox to reveal a small purple dinosaur. Oh no! It's the spawn of Barney! ...

Howdy folks. Turtle here again with another Grim Review. This time we're dealing with body possession. The episode is entitled “Get Out of My Head”. Let's get to it. Title card from the Grim Adventures Wiki The episode opens on a B-Horror flick on TV. A young woman is possessed by a....mummy's ghost....and proceeds to eat someone off-screen. Billy is freaked out by this and turns off the TV. Grim is hardly phased by it. Image from the Grim Adventures Wiki “ I've seen scarier stuff in your toilet.” Well cheesy B-movies are pretty easy to top on the scare-o-meter. Billy inquires about “jumping into people's heads”. Grim demonstrates possession on Billy's cat, Milkshakes. Billy attempts to do the same to his dad, but fails. It only works if you jump in head first, not butt first. Mandy is outside messing with what appears to be a voodoo doll. Billy dives headfirst into Mandy and takes over her body. Billy does var...

Hey folks. Turtle here back with another Fairly Oddparents review. We're going into space, y'all, and being introduced to Mark Cheng. Grab your Crash Nebula brand cereal, because we're going to look at “Spaced Out”. Title card from the Fairly Oddparents wiki Our story begins with Timmy, Chester, and AJ watching a sci-fi program. A green alien wants to suck out some brains with a bendy straw. You'd think space aliens with spaceships would do something a bit more sophisticated than that. One of the humans is apparently named Captain Laserpants. Was this show conceived by a 4-year old? I mean that's how we got Monster Trucks. Just as things look bleak, Crash Nebula blasts through the wall. “ Will Crash Nebula escape the evil clutches of the Clutchulaks?” Yup. Written by a 4-year old. Timmy gushes about the episode and the boys quickly begin playing, with Chester and AJ squirting juice at Timmy. I assume it...

Howdy folks. Turtle here with another Grim Review. Today I'm here to talk about the episode “Opposite Day”. Let's get to it, shall we? Title card from the Grim Adventures wiki Our story begins with Billy and Grim heading out to Mandy's house. Grim mentions how much he hates the two of them. “ You and that wretched girlfriend of yours are bad enough separately, but together, you're insufferable.” “ Insufferable? I don't even know what that means. Hey wait! She's not my girlfriend. She's just a friend who happens to be a girl. Just like I happen to be a boy and you happen to be a skeleton. It's the differences that make our world so rich, diverse, and wonderful.” Unless they're a giant spider, I suppose. Billy says this will be a special day, only to correct himself by saying it's ordinary. Grim is a little confused by this. The two arrive, and Mandy answers saying there is no one home. She tells them to leav...

Howdy folks! Turtle here with another edition of Grim Reviews. This time with the second short of the Grim & Evil era: “Skeletons in the Water Closet”. Image courtesy of the Grim Adventures Wiki Our story begins with Billy's mom cleaning the house and waking up Billy and his dad. When she approaches Billy's bed, Grim appears from under the covers, scaring her. She frantically goes to her husband, thinking Billy had turned into a skeleton. The parents go to their child, only for Billy to be perfectly fine. The dad, Harold, is annoyed with his wife, Gladys. Harold asks Gladys if she forgot to take her medicine, and they walk away. Grim, also annoyed with what just happened, goes to take a shower. Gladys readies some towels for Billy, who she thinks is in the shower, only to find Grim behind the curtain. Gladys has another episode and warns Harold about the naked skeleton in the bathroom. “ Naked skeletons? Well, I'd better get the flail.” ...